Monday, February 14, 2011

LOVE….it’s Valentine!

Valentine is here again, Love is in the air!
When I hear the word ‘Valentine’, what I think of is wine, chocolates and a big teddy bear!
It’s amazing how the great day originated from the name of a Priest who married people when it was illegal under the Emperor Claudius.
It’s amazing how such a great day as today just makes the boys who don’t have money furious; for fear that they may disappoint or even lose their girlfriends.
So is Valentine’s Day just for the married or unmarried couples?
The question is: Is love just for the married or unmarried couples?
I think that everyone should spend the day showing love to friends, relatives, teachers, the poor, and anyone around.
You don’t have to spend through your nose; remember the day is love-bound!
Girls and Gifts
For most people Valentine’s Day is about receiving and giving gifts. For girls it’s all about receiving gifts! Usually, very few girls give out gifts, they prefer to receive, while some neither give nor receive.
A survey was carried out in a university, 100 girls from different departments were asked how they feel about accepting gifts from guys or anything at all.
58% of the girls said they usually accept things from guys and the remaining 42% said they don’t.
Common Reasons why girls accept gifts from guys:
1.     He is my Fiancé or boyfriend
19% of the girls said they will accept gifts because he is their boyfriend or Fiancé. It’s only natural to accept gifts from your finance or boyfriend because you already have an established relationship. It’s actually a problem if he doesn’t buy you gifts, in some cases he may not be able to afford gifts; but no matter how broke he is, he should be able to save to impress you. Even if it’s once in a while like on Valentine’s Day or your birthday. If he really can’t afford to buy you gifts or if he is not interested or just not that into you, time will tell. Watch out for the signs!

2. He is someone I know
21% of the girls said they collect gifts from guys because he is someone they know. Ronke says “I don’t feel you have to wait until you start dating a guy before you accept things from him”. He may be your family friend, your relative or a well- wisher”. Valerie says “I accept things from guys, not just any guy, but the few I know”.
Bukky says “friendship is give and take”’. Lara says “Yes I accept things from guys I know because I don’t want to make them angry, I don’t always accept because I never ask them for it”. Others say they just feel like accepting them, it’s a gift or additional stuff.
Whatever the reason, it’s important you state clearly what kind of relationship you want with the guy and let the guy know.
Accepting it may make him feel you are interested in dating him, when you are really just friends.

3. I expect him to give me things
About 2% of the girls said they accept things from guys because they expect him to give those things or it’s just supposed to happen.
Nneka says “I collect things from guys because it makes sense”. As a girl it’s expected that guys will give you gifts but it’s still important to define the relationship.
4. I give him gifts too
Only 2% feel they should accept gifts from guys because they give them gifts too, it’s not surprising! It’s only natural to collect when you give that way you don’t feel it’s a one way thing its ‘give and take’ everyone is happy and he doesn’t feel he can treat you any how or call you materialistic because you also give. It kind of makes you independent and attracts respect from your male friends or your boyfriend.

Why girls don’t collect things from guys

42% of the girls said ‘no’ here are some reasons why:
1.     They expect something in return
23% of the girls are of the view that nothing goes for nothing, and that the guy will expect something in return. Tosin says “I don’t want anything from a guy that I don’t want to date.
“I don’t like depending on guys for what I need, they feel they are getting closer to me which is not right, I like leaving guys in the position they are meant to be which is- just there’” says Kemi.
Nonye says “I can afford gifts myself if I want any” Efe says
“I am satisfied with what I have, most of the guys who give these things have other motives and expect something in return” Toyin says “They will feel they have a right over you”.
2.     It’s part of me and my home training
8% of the girls say ‘no’ because it’s part of them, due to their home training and personal experiences. Zainab says “I just don’t like it” Amaka says.
 “I was brought up to reject such gifts and I don’t need them” Jane says. Nkem says “I wasn’t brought up that way and my parents provide what I need”.
3.     I am content with what I have and I get all I want from my parents
11% of the girls said ‘no’ because they a satisfied with what their parents give them. Seun says “everything I need, my parents give m always”.
Abike says “I don’t feel a guy is responsible for me, my parents are responsible for that”. Temitope says “I get all I want from my parents”.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Kikelola Soyode is the founder of the Bola Soyode Educational Foundation; a foundation that focuses on providing a chance for children with deceased parents to continue their education by sponsoring their education financially, thereby creating a brighter future for such kids.

Girlfriends had a chat with her about her foundation, the challenges she faces running it, and whole lot of other stuff. Enjoy and be inspired! J

1) Tell us a bit about yourself? 

 I'm 22 years old and I’m currently doing my Masters in Intellectual Property Law. My first degree was in Law at Manchester University (I’m back there now for my Master’s) and then I went on to do the LPC (Legal Practice Course) at BPP Law School.  I run a fashion blog with my friend Tobi called StyleByQueens and I also run an NGO called the Bola Soyode Educational Foundation. I’m hoping to move back to Nigeria before the year runs out, to start my career in Law, concentrate on my NGO a bit more and get a bit of fashion in there somewhere hopefully!

2) When did you decide to start the Bola Soyode Educational Foundation?

A few days after my 15th birthday, marked the 10th anniversary of my father’s death.  I wanted to do something special and I had had this idea for a few months prior. After my father died, it was just my mum and I and of course she faced numerous challenges but she always managed to pull through. There was a girl in school with me, who lost her dad and had to leave school because her mum could no longer keep up with the fees. I decided to make my mark on the issue, because that could easily have been my story.

3) What challenges have you faced so far?
FINANCES! The foundation runs mainly on donations from corporations and individuals. Their pledges are renewed either monthly or annually and one of our biggest challenges is chasing up our sponsors to renew their pledges!

4) You recently organized a fund-raiser event for the foundation, how successful was it?
It was very successful. Most people that know me know that I am not a very emotional person (well…. most times) but the entire event was really overwhelming and I actually cried at the end of it. We were able to raise almost N2m. I’m eternally grateful to everyone that came out to support the cause.

5) What is your vision for the BSE foundation?
To sponsor even more children up to University level and not just Nigerian children because these challenges are faced by families all over the world. I would really want the foundation to be global!
6) How do you combine school with running the foundation?

I have to admit, it is extremely challenging. I organized the last two fundraisers right in   the middle of my exams and I have to say it was very difficult, but it’s all about planning your time wisely.

 7) What motivates you to keep going?
This sounds very “cheesy” but it’s true. The joy on the faces of these children and their mothers always makes it worthwhile. When they tell you how the foundation has lifted a burden, it just makes me realize that we are really touching lives and making a difference.

8) What inspired the creation of style by queens?
My blogging partner and I, Tobi, were really bored one day after a series of Civil Litigation classes and we were on the verge of losing our minds. Tobi sent me a text asking if I wanted to start a blog and I shrugged and said, why not? We both love clothes and everything fashion. The blog has sort of taken a life of it’s own considering how it started!

9) Do you and Tobi ever have disagreements about what goes on the blog?
Not to my knowledge, no. We’re too similar and we think alike so that makes it a lot easier.

10) What do you love most about fashion?
The fact that it is an extension of my personality. It makes me very confident (depending on what I’m wearing anyway). I love creativity and fashion gives people the avenue to showcase this creativity. It’s amazing!

11) Define your style…
Honestly, I wear whatever looks makes me feel comfortable. But if I could describe my style I’d say it’s girly with a bit of “rock chic”. I love dark colours but I also like a splash of colour in there sometimes.

12) How would you describe yourself?
I’m very shy but some say I’m funny. I like to think of myself as a nice person generallyJ. I recently diagnosed myself with “Overachiever’s Syndrome”, I’m my biggest critic and I am never comfortable with what I’ve achieved; I always want more.

13) How do you relax?
I read a lot of books and I love fashion magazines. Shopping is always a good way to relieve stress. I love cooking as well; it really relaxes me.

14) What are your plans for the future?
To be a very successful Intellectual Property lawyer, probably representing a big fashion house. Also, BSF sponsoring thousands of children worldwide! And of course, marriage and kids in there somewhere.

15) Your advice to girls would be…
Stay true to yourself. DO.NOT.GIVE.IN.TO.PEER PRESSURE. Surround yourself with positive people and seriously… listen to your parents, they know what they are talking about most of the time!

16) One last word…
”the first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second –listening, the third –memory, the fourth –practice, the fifth –teaching others. “ –Solomon Gabriol.

For more info on the Bola Soyode Educational Foundation go to and support this cause!