Friday, January 21, 2011

'Her Regret'

“I can’t be worse off than I am right now. I’m a mess but I can’t help it” Jenny thought.
Jenny always appeared happy and jovial on the outside, but on the inside she was seriously hurt; not by anyone but by her own actions. “Being in Gbenga’s arms last night felt great!” She forced a smile. “Oh no, not Gbenga, I meant Steven, I was with Gbenga two nights ago and with Steven last night.” She said with a puzzled look on her face.
Thinking about the different boys she had been with night after night always left her so confused. She had given herself to so many boys without even realizing it.
“I think I should go to Ikenna’s house, he said his parents were out of town when I was with him last week and that I could come over whenever I wanted to. Gosh, Ikenna is so cool, I guess I should go! What about Brian?” She thought.
“He’s just too much of a good boy, ughh! He’s so annoying” She said and began to frown.
Jenny and Brian had been together for two months, but Jenny never enjoyed spending time with Brian as much as she did with those other boys.
“Jenny let’s wait till we’re married, Jenny I love you but let’s slow down” She said, imitating Brian. “That boy is such a chicken!” she laughed hard.
“I’m out of here and off to Ikenna’s, I feel kinda sick, I can't be in this house all alone; I need some action” Jenny thought. She left her room and raced out of her house eagerly.
She got to Ikenna’s house just in time to find him with another girl. “I wonder who she is” She thought. “Ikenna doesn’t have a girlfriend! Well, except me. Wait what am I saying, I’m not Ikenna’s girlfriend; I’m supposed to be dating Brian” She nodded
“What’s wrong with me? I’m so confused! Don’t even know how I got to this point.” Jenny got up to leave, but Ikenna called her name and whispered something in her ear.
As the girl left his house, Jenny and Ikenna entered into the same room that the other girl had stepped out from with Ikenna. Just as things were heating off, his cell phone rang.
He talked briefly to his caller and shook his head while he hung up “What is it?” Jenny asked him. His reply obviously shocked her because she yelled “What do you mean today wasn’t scheduled for me? Ikenna so that’s how you see me!”
Tears filled her eyes as she spoke “So another girl is coming over? How could you do this? I know I’m not your girlfriend but don’t I deserve a little respect from you?”
Jenny got up in anger and left Ikenna’s house. She ran to her house which was just a few blocks away from his house. She could barely see, as her eyes were welled up with tears, but she made it into her house and then her room. “How could Ikenna do this? And how could I be so stupid, he didn’t even try to stop me when I got up to leave, he didn’t even say he was sorry! How could he be, when another girl is going to continue from where I left off?” she said to herself, almost yelling. “Boys are so mean, no not all of them, Brian where are you!” she cried
“I wish I had listened to him, I wish I listened to all my friends who told me to wait; now I feel like a pig!” Jenny lost all the good friends she had ever since she started ‘boy-hopping’ as her old friends called it.
“Gbenga, Steven, Ikenna and all those other boys don’t care about me; they made me believe that being a bad girl was cool! I made myself believe it too, now I’m lying here crying my eyes out” she thought. “I wish I never did all that with any of them, it’s killing me, Dear God please help me. I’m really sorry!” Jenny uttered.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

What kind of friend are you?!

If you really want to know what kind of friend you are take this quiz to find out!!!
1.     You hear someone talk badly about your friend you:
a.     Keep quiet 
b.      Shut the girl up and never mention it to your friend 
c.      Tell your friend what she said 
2.     your friend does something that  hurts you, you:
      a. tell her how you feel 
      b. Keep quiet about it 
      c. Tell someone else about it 
3.     Your friend’s brother asks you out you:
a.     Ask your friend if it’s okay with her 
b.     Say ‘yes’ and keep it as a secret from your friend 
c.      Say ‘no’ 
4.     Your gisting with a group of people and you get to the juicy part, but your friend told you to keep it secret, so you:
a.     Tell them 
b.      Skip that part 
c.      Tell them, then ask them to keep it as a secret 
5.     How would you describe friendship?
a.     Give and take 
b.     Take as much as you can 
c.      Give as much as you can
6.     Your friend is ‘walking on the wrong path’ you:
a.     Advice her 
b.     Allow her 
c.      Go with her 
7.     Your friend has a horrible hair do on, you:
a.     Tell her it’s horrible 
b.     Don’t tell her because you don’t want her to feel bad 
c.      Tell her it’s nice then laugh about it later with your other friends 
8.     How often do you forget your friends’ birthday?
a.     Never 
b.     Sometimes 
c.      Always 
9.     If you haven’t heard from a friend in a while you:
a.     Forget about her/him 
b.     Call, flash or text her/him 
c.      Send her an email or a Facebook message. 
10.                        How often do you change friends?
a.     All the time 
b.     When you have gotten what you want 
c.      Hardly

Mostly Green
It’s good to know you are someone to rely on. You can stand for your friends through thick and thin, you’re definitely a good friend…perfect in every way!!!
                Mostly Blue
You’re a bit selfish; you make friends only because you know you will get something out of it. You don’t really go out of your way for your friends; you should know that friendship is a gift and should be treated with care.
Mostly Red
You’re more of a ‘see-saw’ friend; you don’t put effort to maintain your friendship. You forget that to have a good friend you yourself have to be a good friend. You have to make effort to be a better friend and to be someone people can trust and be happy around.

Friday, January 7, 2011


Washing: For some reason there is this myth that relaxed hair grows better when it is dirty, i.e. prolonging washes. Nothing could be less true. When you hair is dirty sebum and dirt accumulate on your scalp and this could greatly hinder growth. While washing hair could seem counterproductive to getting that straight look, it is very essential to hair growth.
 So here are some things to keep in mind
1.Wash hair every week (of course if you have extensions in this may not be possible).
2. Try using a shampoo like Giovanni’s invigorating tea tree shampoo. It contains tea tree which is great for scalp issues which many people with relaxers suffer from.
3. Avoid shampoos that have Sodium Laureath Sulphate as this chemical will dry out your already dry hair.

Conditioning: Invest in a very creamy moisturizing conditioner with a low PH. A good conditioner would be our very own Natural Saturdays Deep conditioning treatment (available for our readers in Nigeria only for now) or Giovanni’s Smooth as silk Deep conditioner. Both of these are excellent and the NS deep conditioner is multi-purpose! A few tips
1) Condition hair after every wash! Never skip this step
2) Deep condition hair at least twice a week you can use The NS conditioner or browse the blog for a home-made deep conditioner recipe ATTENTION watch out for the ingredient mineral oil/petrolatum – this is a cheap grade by-product of crude oil and it has no moisturizing properties, in fact it does more harm than good. Apply a deep conditioner on the hair and wear a heating cap/ a plastic cap and wrap a towel around your head/ or a plastic cap and sit under hooded dryer for at least an hour. The heat allows the conditioner to penetrate the hair cuticle thereby thoroughly conditioning the hair
3) When rinsing our conditioner, use cold water for the last couple of rinses as this closes the hair cuticles reduces frizz and promotes shine.

Moisturizing: Water is the best and most natural form of moisture of course this becomes a challenge when trying to attain the sleek straight look, applying water seems counterproductive. The best way of course is to “lock in” moisture while the hair is still holding water i.e. damp. You can do this by adding natural oils Natural Saturdays Hair oil is created exactly for this purpose. It is a light mix of oils and infused with a lot of hair-loving essential oils and herbs. If you are unable to get this Coconut oil will work similarly it is light and easily absorbed into the hair cuticle. A few tips
1.When moisturizing less is more- a little goes a long way, relaxed hair is easily weighed down and therefore might appear limp… for that bouncy look, use less product (yeah tell that to Nigerian hair-dressers lol)
2.Look out again for that “poison” called mineral oil.
3. Concentrate on moisturizing the ends of your hair, this is the weakest part of your hair and needs the most care.

Special Treatments: Relaxed hair loses most of its elasticity and as a result can be dry brittle or limp. To combat this, your hair should be on a rotation of Deep conditioning treatments, protein treatments and hot oil treatments bi-weekly, so every two weeks you should be doing one of these, it may seem time consuming but the results begin to show quickly.
Here are some brief tips:
1) When doing a hot oil treatment heat the oils using a double broiler method as opposed to microwaving.
2) For protein treatments you can simply add a spoon of mayonnaise to your deep conditioning treatment.
3) Remember that these are special treatments and should be treated as such. Overdoing it is not encouraged

Natural hair becomes easier to maintain the longer you have it. So we would say it is at first daunting as it requires a new way of treating hair in comparison to relaxed hair but eventually, it becomes easier. Also, so far as your hair has basic nutrition, it should function well; so no need to worry about running under the rain!! Most people worry about styling natural hair, we would say that having natural hair in this day and age is no doubt different, but it is a difference we like to associate with and one we think is absolutely fashionable and gorgeous so have fun with it! Be creative about your styling. We all have different methods of style and so our hair fits right into it because we create our hair styles to suit our personality and fashion style.

Maintaining Your Natural Hair:
Hair Products:
-Sulphate free shampoo (It is important to note that these don’t lather but cleanse your hair) e.g Giovanni products or Body Shop’s new sulfate free line
-Conditioners – our very own Natural Saturdays conditioner and hair treatment recipe. Add some protein to it to strengthen the hair or use it the way it is. Our oil treatment also is useful both as a hot oil treatment and as an alternative to hair grease. It helps hair growth, gives shines and restores strength. Avoid hair grease with mineral oil so def no 'apple hair foods' or dax lol! Coconut oil as well as its use as a softener and conditioner, helps with dandruff and gives shine.
Wash, condition and treat hair regularly; so at least twice a month. Wash your hair weekly to clear scalp. Product build-up stunts growth!

What we have found useful is a daily in-shower steam; it moisturizes our hair and also helps growth. We use our oil recipe for this…alternatively you can use castor and coconut oil.
Spray it on every morning, wear a shower cap and let natural body and shower heat steam your hair.
Avoid heat i.e. hair straighteners, hair dryers. Let your hair air dry or towel dry it.
Avoid combing your hair when dry, comb when the hair is dripping wet and with conditioner in it, or spray a bit of water/ detangler before combing hair. NEVER COMB NATURAL HAIR WHEN DRY!
The kind of comb you use is essential, our hair is curly so a wide tooth comb is the best comb to use on our hair, here's an example of an in shower detangling comb
This is the most important thing in our opinion- your diet! You need to drink lots of water to clear out toxins if not the products won't work effectively. You also need to maintain a healthy diet- Also for hair growth especially, foods rich in protein are essential- fish is especially recommended! It is difficult (we know) not to indulge in junk food, but eating it at minimal levels is advised.
There are many hair care forums that you can visit in addition to our website to learn about natural hair styling options. Never stop learning.

Saturday, January 1, 2011


Mobolaji Akiode is a former Fordham basketball star and the founder of the ‘Hope 4 Girls Africa’ program. She was recently profiled on ESPN’s Outside the Lines in a documentary titled “Her story: Ten Times Over” for her work in her home country Nigeria. While at Fordham, she earned an award for the Female Student-Athlete of the year. This led to a try out with the WNBA’s Detroit shock and a trip to the 2004 summer Olympics in Athens as a member of the Nigerian national team.
Girlfriends caught up with her for an interview about basketball, the hope 4 girls program, amongst other things. Enjoy and be inspired! J                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
1)    Tell us a bit about your background….
 I lived in Nigeria as a child. I moved to America at the age of 9 and started playing basketball at 13. I went to Columbia high school and earned a basketball scholarship to Fordham University where I accumulated numerous awards and graduated with an accounting degree.  I then moved to Europe where I played in Switzerland and Ireland and simultaneously joined the Nigerian national team in 2004 representing the country in Athens Olympics and world championship and nation’s cup and various tournaments. I quit playing basketball in 2006 and started working at ESPN in 2007. I quit ESPN in 2009 to move back to Nigeria to attend to hope4girlsafrica.  I still hope to pursue my MBA in sports management and marketing.

2)   When did you discover your love for basketball?
I started playing basketball at the age of 13 and since then I’ve used basketball as a tool to realize my greatest dreams and actualize my fullest potential. Through basketball, I was able to visit and live in the most amazing countries, meet the most amazing people, and experience the most amazing things.  Although my experience through basketball has been amazing, I didn’t see enough opportunities put in place for more girls from Africa to have the same dream.

3)   What is the Hope 4 Girls Africa program all about?
Our target group is young African women between the ages of 12 to 18 years. We aim to provide opportunities for these young women to display and develop character, intellect, and athletic ability through H4G sports camps, learning workshops, and other empowerment programs. On a more sensitive scale, it creates an environment for young girls to express themselves, look up to role models and address concerns of young African women. We have seminars during all our programs, health and wellness, issues on relationships etc.  We try to build confidence, friendships and leaders.  These are all naturally exhibited through sports participation. So many parts of our society neglect the wellness and development of girls and we are trying to bring attention to them and create programs that will keep them encouraged.  We also try and locate girls with great potential and help them maximize their goals by providing them with student athlete scholarships in the U.S of which two have already been awarded.

4)   How do you find the transition from the United States to Nigeria?
It’s been difficult.  But my passion and the love for what I do really surpass the challenges.  Things and many people are backwards and of course there is the naija factor that can’t be quantified.  It makes simple things difficult.  Other than that I love what I do and I love the impact it’s having on my girls.

5)   What inspired the move?
During my first camp in August of 2009, we had 65 girls from all over Nigeria and they got an open forum to address their problems needs and wants.  The consensus was neglect and no one was fighting for them to help them realize their passion, their dreams, or goals.  I believed I had garnered enough knowledge to help solve this or at least bring it to light, and give them a platform for their voices to be heard.  If I was serious about it, I knew I had to come home so I challenged myself and did.

6)   What challenges do you face within the Nigerian environment?
Let’s put it this way.  I grew up in a structured society, where accountability and transparency is valued and there are no backdoors.  The mentality in Nigeria is totally backwards from what I am use to. I encounter it on sooooo many levels.  For me it’s trying to get things done without becoming like that and accepting the status quo.

7)   What common issues are encountered amongst girls enrolling in the program?
The only common issue is distance.  There are two issues with that. We have an academy located in Yaba but it’s too far for some girls from other distances. The second is our programs have been in Lagos and many girls from delta Abuja and other states have shown great interest so we are trying our best to explore new states and spread h4g.  We hope we can get more support so we can spread our programs.  The second issue is many underestimate the amount of girls who want to be a part of sports so we have huge numbers but not enough staff to accommodate them.  Many schools don’t provide their girls with sporting opportunities especially the Govt. Schools and with our program being the first of its kind we have an overwhelming number.

8)   What’s your vision for the program?
My vision is in 2 fold. One is to continue to create educational opportunities for less privileged girls in the U.S. and to spread h4g to the point where it becomes an African program, where girls from Ghana, Benin republic, Togo etc. can gather for a great week of sports and girl empowerment.  I hope to have my own gym, so hope4girls can have a permanent home for its princess academy.

9)   How would you describe yourself?
I am very passionate and emotional, but strong-minded. I am extremely witty and I care about people. I’m a laugher, I love to laugh and I’m a dreamer! J

10) What inspires you?
Success inspires me. Once I choose to challenge myself and succeed at it. I get inspired to do more to take on more challenges. It’s almost like a drug. I’ve succeeded at creating a brand in Nigeria and my next challenge is to spread it to other West African countries.

11) How do you relax? 
You might find this funny I relax by boxing. Punching away the stress of the day and relaxing with a movie afterward.

12) What are your plans for the future?
Well I have 3 plans for the next 4 years. A masters, the growth of h4g, and to create my own sports business. Somewhere in there I hope to fit in marriage (chuckle).

13) Your advice to girls….
In a society like Nigeria, all you have is your self worth and your mind, don’t cheapen it for anyone or anything, because all in all whatever they have to offer you is temporary and once you lose yourself you can’t get it back.

14) One last word….
Travel the path of integrity and never look back, for there is never a wrong time to do the right thing.  We could always use more support and ideas from different women!

For more info on Mobolaji’s works in Nigeria, you can visit the Hope 4 Girls Africa website at,