When it's NOT okay to stay!

We were really moved to do a post on abusive relationships based on a friend's story. Although difficult to believe, abusive relationships among girls/young women is very much existent! A WHO multi-country study found that between 15–71% of women reported experiencing physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lives.

Abusive relationships are not merely physical. Sexual, emotional, and even financial (Yes! forcefully taking your money qualifies) abuse in relationships also exists. The danger in early abusive relationships is that most girls get so used to them that they start to develop enduring patterns to handle the situation up until and even in their marriages.

The worst part is that most girls find it exceedingly difficult to communicate about the abuse with their friends or others who would be in a good position to advise and direct them on what to do. A lot of times, they become trapped and enslaved in the relationship for so long.

"Shouldn't we work it out?" "I'm sure he can change", "He loves me but he just gets angry at times", "That's his weakness, no one is perfect"- are some of the lies we females like to tell ourselves. We learn to live in self-denial and suffer in 'near-death relationships'.

The fact is that any guy that really loves you would never even think of hitting you or inflicting you with any form of abuse. One of the important aspects in relationships that most females ignore is respect. Respect is so important because it guarantees an acknowledgment of the fact that you are of value, not just to him, but to your family and the world.

So when is it okay to leave? It's okay to leave the minute you're abused or you start to see the signs! Love is mutual and it should also be based on mutual respect. If your boyfriend disrespects you in any way, it's in your best interest to find your way out of that relationship. He can find his punching bag at the nearest gym; your body was created for so much more!

Help! I'm in an abusive relationship- The very first thing you need to do is err.... RUN!!! Making excuses for his violent behaviour only keeps you in it for much longer. The next thing you need to do is be open about it; at least to the people in your life that really care about you (not the gossip folks).

What if I can’t leave? Failure to end an abusive relationship could lead to depression, drug abuse, eating disorders, low self-esteem, failure in performance at work/school, and problems of various sorts.

If it’s your friend who’s in an abusive relationship, you can help by believing them and NOT judging them. It’s important to let your friend know that she’s not alone; listening is also very helpful. It is very important to let them recognize that violence and abuse in a relationship is unacceptable. Helping your friend gain the courage to end the relationship would be the best thing!